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The Nigerian Kids Can Play
Aug 4th
Going into youth tournaments, Nigeria is often considered one of the powerhouses, while also having their birth certificates considered very suspicious. The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive…
So they set about proving people wrong by both demolishing Croatia, amidst this epic strike from Terna Suswam, and then setting down for what seemed like it was going to be a child’s game of Duck, Duck, Goose before it was rudely interrupted.
See. Good and young.
It Appears Spain Is Just Better Than Everyone Else
Aug 1st
So we know Spain as a nation is running through an extraordinary period of domination, and we also know that there appears to be little let-up for the rest of the poor world, as their youth teams are simply excellent. How excellent? Well they just won the u19 Euros today, defeating the Czech Republic. That puts their current trophy haul at…
World Cup
European Championships
u21 Euros
u19 Euros
And they’re considered the favorites in the current u20 World Cup. It appears all they have left to do is master that pesky u17 business.
Uruguay Takes Care Of Business, While Diego Lugano Takes Care Of The Evidence
Jul 25th
Two things could’ve happened had Paraguay reigned victorious at the Copa America, making them something of a fan favorite:
i. Won the tournament without actually awinning a game to get there (5 games, 3 draws, 2 PK wins).
ii. Larissa Riquelme would streak in the nude, which seems redundant (not streaking in the nude, but Larissa Riquelme being nude).
However, the former is a bit less than ideal from a standpoint which considers the integrity and validity of the competition, while the latter is rendered moot by Google Images, if a bit less jiggly.
Plus Uruguay is, you know, seriously good and deserving champions – the Suarez/Forlan strike duo really is just the business.
However, the best was truly saved for last, when the “fair play” trophy was handed to none other than Diego Lugano. Yes, that Diego Lugano. An award for the Uruguayan team, nonetheless…
The look on his face says it all, really.
Diego knows where the bodies are buried.
Fun With Postgames At The Copa America
Jul 21st
The Copa America, while a fascinating study in the underdog, has sort of gone off without yet having a single defining moment, if Fernando Muslera’s double save and Brazil’s complete penalty implosion are inching ever closer.
Thankfully, Paraguay and Venezuela fixed that nicely by closing out the former’s penalty win in the semifinal with a nice, big postgame brawl.
Suddenly feels like everything’s back to normal.
Polkraine 2012 Has Great Potential
Jul 20th
Does the trophy typically require protection with semi-automatic weapons?
One would think normally it would not.
There’s No Place Like South America
Jul 18th
So as wonderful as the Women’s World Cup has been, the Copa America has been just epic from the standpoint of a simple question: “Who?”
Was anyone expecting that much the summer after a full Euro season + World Cup year? Nay. Gaslights are all on, have been on, and the needles are about to break off. However, what’s happened is nonetheless astonishing: Peru, Uruguay, Paraguay, Venezuela.
On paper, that should read as the list of teams which have been knocked out before the semis. But no, those are the semifinalists.
They should rename this thing The Great Choke-Off of 2011.
Brazil, Argentina, Chile. All gone, all out. The biggest culprit is Argentina, as the tournament is at home, but Brazil’s fancy tricks with no execution isn’t far behind. All skill, no teams.
In fact, Brazil put on one of the worst penalty showings in the long history of watching football these eyes have ever seen, but the true hero is Nando Muslera, who displayed arguably the greatest save of the year, and you’re a liar, liar, pants on fire if you were watching this game and didn’t leap from your seat in utter disbelief after watching this double walk-on-water.
And thus we were left with the Copa Cinderella 2011. Anyone who put their hard-earned on Uruguay before the tournament should be feeling pretty damn good about themselves at this point.
Everybody’s A Bit Japanese Today
Jul 18th
Hope Solo was battered and bruised, but that doesn’t matter when you can’t hit your penalties and you’re going up against the power of flower anyway. Or perhaps radioactively-enhanced athletes. (Good short-term, bad long?)
Japan, as everyone has heard, has won the Women’s World Cup, and it’s a bit of a big deal for them, proving that heart and good juju in the face of national crisis and adversity can bring home titles and fans, as the world – especially America – applauds.
So does this mean the DRC is going to win the 2014 World Cup?
Lionel Takes On Costa Rica
Jul 12th
There’s no reason to go crazy over Leo running riot over Costa Rica, as he is one of the best with a ball at his feet, well, ever, thus he should play rather well, but there’s no reason not to appreciate a genius at work.
And he certainly got down to business on Monday evening in Argentina’s must-win. The boy can play.
Erika Embarks On Paranormal Activity
Jul 11th
At least in the more vague sense of the definition, this has little real world explanation at this moment in time.
Erika found herself injured in the closing – or so we thought – stages of the Brazil v US game yesterday as the ladies in yellow were clinging to the lead. (Didn’t work out so well.)
And while you want to believe there was possibly a genuine injury in there, somewhere, the whole thing does look rather…suspicious.
Horrible Miss, Murder In The Second Degree
Jul 7th
Despite their glittering roster and home support, Argentina hasn’t given us a tremendous amount to be wowed by during this summer’s brief Copa America run.
Colombia’s Dayro Moreno took care of entertaining us with his inability to hit a sitter, but it was Nicolas Burdisso, who makes a bull in a china shop seem to have the steady-handed tranquility of a brain surgeon, enthralled us with yet another act of homicide in the box.
Here’s to playing advantage. Or ever handing out a red card.
Women’s World Cup Top Drawer In Fan Relations
Jul 5th
Having not noticed too much shirt swapping at the end of the Women’s World Cup, this is a nice treat for those who like to immerse themselves in all facets of the beautiful game. Including the less-clothed ones. (That’s you too, ladies.)
Swedish lass Josefine Öqvist found time after the game to not only converse with a fan, but take her shirt off for him.
Isn’t it supposed to be the other way ’round?
Perspective Is Everything
Jul 4th
Taking the correct angle in photography can lead to good photographs; taking incorrect angles in photography can lead to great photographs.
It’s just too bad it wasn’t Pato or Ganso so that we could have a rousing discussion on fauna.
Exceedingly popular boy, this Neymar.
The US Women’s World Cup team also took an angle which could possibly, just possibly, be misconstrued.
And then ESPN put it on the front page.
Getting A Handle On The Women’s World Cup
Jul 4th
Bringing further awareness to the Women’s World Cup, in more clothed, if less ideal, ways, is yesterday’s match between Equatorial Guinea and Australia in which, yes, this is probably the most egregious non-call in the history of the World Cup for either gender, and even the Hermaphrodite World Cup. Which undoubtedly exists. Somewhere.
Took two watches to notice just what exactly happened – or rather didn’t happen – and it’s just as bad as they all say it is.
Thankfully, both Australia and the general viewing public won out in the end.
French Ladies Go Au Natural For Attendance
Jul 4th
Upon hearing the news that a gaggle of French females from the Les Bleus Women’s World Cup team posed in the buff for a magazine spread, one word should come to mind:
Bild.
And you would, of course, be correct. Three of the French ladies posed nude for the German beacon of couth – though without anything really showing – in order to “bring awareness to their sport”. They probably did it for free, too.
Somewhat NSFW post-jump.
The caption read: “Is this how we should show up before you come to our games?”
Let’s be honest…
It would help attendance figures, yes.
Prepping For The Copa America
Jul 1st
Without speaking a lick of the language, it’s painfully obvious why this clip from Argentinean broadcaster TyC has garnered such popularity on the YouTube. Because despite the linguistic roadblock, there’s this sudden urge to watch some Copa America. Right now.
Luckily, it will only be a few hours time on YouTube’s Live Streaming Copa America channel, among others.
Messi & Co. take on Bolivia at home in Argentina tonight in the opener. The last time these two played, Diego’s duds were thrashed 6-1 at altitude.
Perhaps a spot of revenge is on order.
There Apparently Is Crying In Women’s Football – From Men
Jun 30th
There is to be an eternal debate on what is actually the worst miss, sitter or otherwise, in football history, but there is to be little debate on just what is the worst, most hilarious reaction to a missed goal in history:
That guy.
The goals of Equitorial Guinea are apparently very important to him – let’s hope he’s not a River Plate fan too.
[SBNation]
Women’s World Cup: It’s A(n Underwater) Jungle Out There
Jun 24th
Paul the Octopus, while nice, created something of a problem:
Wherever there is money to be made, marketing potential to be achieved and publicity to be Houdini’d out of midair, advantage shall be taken. Give ‘em a foot, take 20,000 leagues or so.
The Women’s World Cup is in Germany this year, once the home to Paul the ‘Pus. You can absolutely see where this is going.
Eight octopi have been tasked with proving/disproving the presence of medium capabilities in mollusks. Or perhaps proving extraordinary luck is capable by even those who taste delicious with a nice tartar sauce.
A German aquarium’s new octopus oracle has gone out on one of her eight limbs by choosing underdog Canada to beat Germany in the opening match of the Women’s World Cup on Sunday.
Octopi at Sea Life’s seven other German aquaria were divided in their picks for Sunday’s match: Three chose Germany, one other took Canada and three made no choice at all.
The octopus with the most correct choices at the end of the nearly monthlong tournament will be anointed the next “official” oracle.
As someone who hasn’t seen a single female game in their lifetime, this can be said:
This mollusk is an idiot. The chances Canada beats Germany, by all accounts the supreme power and playing at home, are about the same a Mesut Ozil with a decent tuck job is allowed to score two by the half.
Not happenin’.
Also: there is an oracle elephant. Which supposedly chose Germany, despite the mass of confusion fluttering about my brain at this very moment.
Copa America Markets Itself With Cartoons
Jun 22nd
The battle for South American supremacy will likely come down to a matter of two: Argentina and Brazil. The two don’t quite like each other, if you hadn’t noticed, thus escalating matters quite a bit. To the point where the tournament itself is being marketed as a watered down version of Tom & Jerry or Wil E. Coyote and the Roadrunner, constantly doing battle in cartoon, across (very brief) four episodes thus far. And Argentina seems a bit…aggressive.
Expectations for this tournament suddenly increase.
Copa America Goes To YouTube
Jun 16th
The despite the emptiness and hollow being of having to traverse the rolling hills of the summer sans a World Cup or European Championships, there are a number of tournaments going on, including the Women’s World Cup, u17 World Cup, u21 European Champions and, of course, the pseudo-tournament of several formalities before Brazil & Argentina inevitably play each other in a one-off trophy game Copa America.
So there is ample football to be viewed, and YouTube is doing their part as well, offering up the Copa America to be streamed – the whole thing. Presumably with rubbish commentary, but we musn’t be greedy.
YouTube, which began live-streaming Indian Premier League cricket matches last year, announced Wednesday that it will show all 26 matches in next month’s Copa America.
YouTube said matches from the Copa America, which begins on July 1 and is being held in Argentina, will be live-streamed at youtube.com/copaamerica and available in more than 50 countries around the world.
“Fans will have access to all 26 matches including pool play, semi-finals, quarter-finals and the championship match, live streaming as they happen with exclusive-to-YouTube commentary,” YouTube said in a blog post
So does this mean Messi will be on YouTube?
That’s new.
Germany Tells Michael Ballack He’s Surplus To Requirements
Jun 16th
There are things which are done and things which are not done.
Informing Michael Ballack that he is retired not of his own choosing seems like it’d fall into the latter category. But oh, they did it.
Jogi Loew & Co. announced that Mr. Ballack was no longer in consideration for a spot in the national team. Presumably without asking for or receiving his thumbs up beforehand.
Now, Ballack doesn’t seem like a homicidal maniac, but he is certainly a strong character and though he hasn’t played for quite some time, and was removed as captain by this move effectively – and done so while sitting on 98 caps.
How ruthless. There is every chance this does not go well.
“The past months have shown that many young players are brought into focus and have good prospects. With them developing the national team since the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, the run [has been] completely positive,” the 51-year-old is quoted as saying on Bayer Leverkusen’s website.
“After I had discussed this issue with Michael Ballack at our last meeting in late March 2011, together in the open and then we talked on the phone several times, [we] have now taken a clear position before the start of the season.
“In our conversations, I had the impression that Michael definitely understands our vision. Therefore in everyone’s interest [there] is now an honest and clear decision attached,” he continued.
But did they let Philipp Lahm tell him the news first?
